42岁生日回顾

42岁生日回顾

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3 min read

昨天是自己42岁生日,每年都习惯写点东西给自己,今年一看,去年写的很多感受,今年依然适用。干脆复制过来,然后再补充几点:

41岁 我觉得三十岁前人的状态,特别是思维模式,是球员的模式。而到了四十岁后,思维模式慢慢变成了教练的模式。做球员时全力投入在努力提升自我能力,去拼去抢。到了教练的状态,已经意识到了世界的无序和复杂性,需要有自己的模式去处理和应对,用有限的资源创造相对更高的价值。

人生是过山车式的体验。情绪,状态,创造力,体力都会有高有低。认识到这一点,并且接受它。

混乱、无序与不完美才是世界和自我思维方式的真相。习惯并拥抱它们,同时学习如何面对它们。

四肢发达后,头脑不会简单。

花在运动和睡眠上的时间,在投入产出比上永远都是良性投资。

不要试图掌控外部世界,而是努力观察和掌控自己的内心和行为。发现了这一点,我才意识到自己原来是一个斯多葛主义者。

不需要说服别人,不要花时间去争吵,除非争吵能创造价值。

做一个普通且自信的人。意识到自我的局限,但却对自己有信心。不需要借助容貌、身材、钱、职位甚至是知识与见解(这个太难)或是别人的认同(这个最难)来证明自己。

做一个狂放却深刻的人。知道自己的本真,并不刻意去伪装成另一种自己不是的人。不要去设计自己的人设,但要设计自己的人生。

42岁 不给别人提建议,不要好为人师。有要求那就对自己,对别人没有期许。

每个人都有自己的世界观,大多数情况下,别人的世界观和我无关。

接受自己的与众不同,更接受自己的平庸。

理解了世界的复杂性,或者说理解了世界是复杂的,人永远不可能穷尽其可能,而这也没什么。深刻地理解了这一点,我更尊重自己的角度和观点,世界是根据自己的理解有偏移的,而这没什么,也很好。

忽然开始理解了中庸的哲学。

哺乳动物需要触摸,人也是。在没有误解的前提下,多使用自己的触觉。

语言变得越来越不重要,而经验和直觉越来越重要。

“尽人事,知天命”可能是最现实的理想主义人生观。


明天是我的生日,刚好在推特上看到黄老师发的一条帖:现在的自己,回顾过去,有实现年少时的梦想,还在为自己的初心在努力吗(原话见附图)?有些感触,在自己生日时,回顾一下这个问题。

我在初高中的时候特别喜欢画画,很自然就迷上了漫画。当时的一大梦想愿望就是长大能够做漫画家,还偶尔进行了一些小的尝试,甚至还给杂志投过稿(呃,当时中国只有一家漫画杂志《画王》,后来还停刊了)。中学时大学时学习自己不是他喜欢的物理专业,又萌生了拍电影的想法,一度也曾做了一些准备,读了一些专业书,后来还跑去大学里教电影课教了几年。 现在年过四十,我发现我真正喜欢的是画画和故事。就连我的同事和主管都说,我在storytelling和视觉上面有出色的天赋,我现在意识到了不一定非要做漫画家和电影导演,而是发挥自己擅长的一面,尽力舒展,就会感觉很好,不只是自己,别人也会感觉很好。

今年我第一次在国际论坛上用非母语进行演讲,就是关于工作中的视觉化这一主题。现在反馈是与观众互动最好的一个演讲,语言可能有些提升,但更多打动人的,就是视觉、故事和我的热爱吧。

但话说回来,我觉得有一点和大数多数人一样,在年轻时我并没有一个非常具体的职业梦想。那些从小就"立志成为xxx家",要么是文学创作,要么是真正的极少数。在年少时你所拥有的信息其实并不足以做出精准的决定,特别对于小镇青年,信息闭塞,世界观也尚未形成。

我现在明白了,更重要的应该是不要去泯灭那些让自己觉得舒展的方向,至少将其作为爱好保持着。如果之后能在职业中找到一点点能与自己所爱的事情重叠的部分,那就很幸运了。

从这个角度来说,我的确很幸运,祝自己42岁生日快乐。

Yesterday was my 42nd birthday, and I have a habit of writing something for myself every year. This year, I found that many of the feelings I wrote about last year still apply. I'll simply copy and paste them here and then add a few more points:

Thoughts at 41: 💡I feel that before the age of thirty, people's mindsets, especially their thinking patterns, are like that of a player. But after turning forty, the mindset slowly shifts to that of a coach. As a player, one focuses on improving personal abilities and competes fiercely. In the coach's state, one is already aware of the disorder and complexity of the world and needs to have their own approach to deal with and adapt, using limited resources to create relatively higher value.

💡Life is a roller-coaster experience. Emotions, states, creativity, and physical strength all have their ups and downs. Recognise this and accept it.

💡Chaos, disorder, and imperfections are the truths of the world and our way of thinking. Get used to and embrace them while learning how to face them.

💡Time spent on workouts and sleep is always a good investment in terms of input-output ratio.

💡Don't try to control the external world; instead, strive to observe and control your own inner self and actions. It was only after realising this that I discovered I am a Stoic.

💡There's no need to convince others; don't waste time arguing unless the argument creates value.

💡Be an ordinary and confident person. Recognise your limitations but have confidence in yourself. Don't rely on appearance, physique, money, position, or even knowledge and insights (this is difficult) or other people's recognition (this is the most difficult) to prove yourself.

Be authentic. Know your true self, and don't deliberately pretend to be someone you're not. Don't design your own persona, but design your own life.

Thoughts at 42:

🌤️ Don't give advice to others, and don't be eager to teach. Make demands on yourself but have no expectations of others.

🌤️ Everyone has their own worldview; in most cases, other people's worldviews have nothing to do with me.

🌤️ Accept my uniqueness and, more importantly, my mediocrity.

🌤️ Understand the complexity of the world, or rather, understand that the world is complex. People can never exhaust all possibilities, and that's fine. Having deeply understood this, I have more respect for my own perspectives and opinions. The world is skewed, according to my understanding, but that's fine, and it's good.

🌤️ Language is becoming less important, while experience and intuition are becoming more important.

🌤️"To do one's best and leave the rest to destiny" may be the most realistic idealist's view of life.

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